A Goodbye/Love Letter to St. Pauls

My Dearest St. Pauls,

                I miss you already. It has only been three weeks since I drove away from you in a taxi with its bass blaring, yet I remember the walls of your guesthouse as if it was only yesterday that I saw you. While I do not miss the many crawling critters you also held under your roof, such as geckos staring down on me in the showers, scorpions wishing to stowaway in my bedroom, or cockroaches greeting me upon my arrival, there are many, many things I miss about you. I miss the people I met during your tea times and while sitting out at your picnic table or gazebo you so graciously let us use. I miss crawling up the hill many nights to use the wifi — or to curse when it wasn’t working. I miss sneaking over to the supermarche for early-morning mandazis or a mid-afternoon snack of samosas. I am surprised to discover that I miss being without a cellphone. I miss Mutzigs and moto gangs of muzungos, all trying to get to the same location, but all trying to save money and all trying to use English to get there.

I’ll be back!

                                                                                Ni ah’ ubutaha,

                                                                                                Marisa

PS:   As I mentioned in my first post, I brought a fair number of books with me to Rwanda. Most of the titles I brought because I thought I’d be able to especially relate to them during my trip. Because my studies focus on using art as advocacy and art as a means to bring about social change, and because I volunteered with Ishyo during the delegation, a cultural and art promotion organization whose mantra is “culture for everyone,” I thought I’d share a few excerpts that particularly stood out to me while I was there.

From I Go to the Ruined Place: Contemporary Poems in Defense of Global Human Rights

Bearing Witness, by Ellen Bass

When the long-fingered leaves of the sycamore

flutter in the wind, spiky

feed balls swinging, and a child throws his aqua

lunch bag over the school yard railing, the last thing,

the very last thing you want to think about

is what happens to children when they’re crushed

like grain in the worn mortar of the cruel.

We weep at tragedy, a baby sailing

through the windshield like a cabbage, a shoe.

The young remnants of war, arms sheared and eyeless,

they lie like eggs on the rescue center’s bare floor.

But we draw a line at the sadistic,

as if our yellow plastic tape would keep harm

confined. We don’t want to know

what generations of terror do to the young

who are fed like cloth

under the machine’s relentless needle.

In the paper, we’ll read about the ordinary neighbor

who chopped up boys; at the movies we pay

to shoot up that adrenaline rush—

and the spent aftermath, relief

like a long-awaited piss.

But face to face with the living prey,

we turn away, rev the motor, as though

we’ve seen a ghost — which, in a way, we have:

one who wanders the world,

tugging on sleeves, trying to find the road home.

And if we stop, all our fears

will come to pass. The knowledge of evil

will coat us like grease

from a long shift at the griddle. Our sweat

will smell like the sweat of the victims.

And this is why you do it—listen

at the outskirts of what our species

has accomplished, listen until the world is flat

again, and you are standing on its edge.

This is why you hold them in your arms, allowing

their snot to smear your skin, their sour

breath to mist your face. You listen

to slash the membrane that divides us, to plant

the hard shiny seed of yourself

in the common earth. You crank

open the rusty hinge of your heart

like an old beach umbrella. Because God

is not a flash of diamond light. God is

the kicked child, the child who rocks alone in the basement,

the one fucked so many times

she does not know her name, her mind

burning like a star.

Poem Wrapped Around a Quotation from Samantha Power, by Donna Brook

It is strenuous to mentally

encompass events,

how much harder

to act on them.

Sunday bather

lined the Jersey Shore as my stepson

cried for help from a riptide.

Alone my brother-in-law

dove and did not hesitate

to save him. Believed he could

and forthwith did, so becoming to us

a hero, no longer Sy,

but otherly brave.

Saying he did

what anyone would have done.

“To earn a death sentence, it was enough in the twentieth century to

be an Armenian, a Jew or a Tutsi. On September 11, it was enough

to be an American. In 1994, Rwanda, a country of just 8 million,

experienced the numerical equivalent of more than two World Trade

Center attacks every single day for 100 days….When the Tutsi cried

out…every country in the world turned away.”

But what would anyone

have done?

How demanding

to wrap the  mind

around the Earth

as if plucking a drowning

man from the sea

because one conceives

it is possible.

The Tutsi were killed

with machetes and sharpened

car parts, means

of mass destruction

just as water becomes

for those not snatched

from it in time.

From an essay called Iraqi Poetry Today, from the collection entitled A Human Eye: Essays on Art in Society, 1997-2008, by Adrienne Rich

“Subjective, emotional experience everywhere lives and converses in poetry. Yet subjective emotions exist of necessity in dialogue with objective conditions. Poetry springs from a nexus of individual and shared experience, above all an experience of location—geophysical realities visible landscape, space marked out by religion, education and politics, poverty and wealth, gender and physiognomy, subordination and independence. Poetry both articulates new upshootings of particularity and grows out of a traditional compost. And it is often written in a desire to change the composition of the very soil from which it grows.”

“‘Whether or not a piece of literature is translated into English practically determines the artistic value of the work. At this early stage of globalization it is difficult to determine whether this phenomenon is enriching Arabic literary tradition…’

                In his introduction to Iraqi Poetry Today, Simawe observes that ‘whether we like it or not, English has become the world language, and thus has come to belong to people of all nations. Hundred of the poets who lie in exile have lost their audience and have begun to write either in English or to get the poetry translated into English or the language of their host country. The outcome of this hybrid poetics has become an important feature of western modernism.’”

This is my last post. Thanks for listening, thanks for reading.

At Kigali International Airport for the long journey home--farewell for now!

Knowledge, Advocacy, Action, Change

One of the questions I kept asking myself in Rwanda is: what is my purpose here? Of course, in many ways that question is obvious. I was in Kigali to learn: about human rights, conflict resolution, sharing cultures, and hopefully a lot about myself — as cheesy as that may sound. It was all about the knowledge I would gain and the experience, right? However, as the amount of time I spent in Rwanda increased, my perception of this trip broadened as well. I realized that my trip was not all about me. In other words, I would take away a great deal—more than I could imagine when I first boarded my plane at from O’Hare in Chicago to travel to Philadelphia. But what would I give?

                I was reminded several times throughout my trip that I had a responsibility to give—in addition to my responsibility to learn and absorb everything I possibly could as part of this delegation. I don’t simply mean the word give in a monetary sense. I mean to give my time, my energy, my voice and passion. I was reminded of this responsibility to give at Kiziba Refugee Camp, where simply listening to the stories of refugees wasn’t enough. I was reminded of this everyday as part of the cultural exchange aspect of the program, because I had a responsibility to teach others about myself and my own culture in addition to learning as much about Rwandan culture as I could. I was reminded of this at every memorial to the genocide my group visited; obviously observing and absorbing isn’t enough—sometimes it falls drastically short of what we owe our fellow human beings.

                As I moved through my month in Rwanda, our delegation started focusing on how we can turn this knowledge we gain into advocacy—and from advocacy into action, and that action into positive, sustainable change. One method we discussed to create change was political or governmental advocacy, which can then affect laws, social policies, etc. During the delegation, we visited various governmental organizations and ministries, such as the Ministry of Youth (currently the Ministry of Youth, Sports, and Culture), Parliament, the Norwegian People’s Aid, and our final week we visited both the Ministry of Security and the US Embassy, as well as met with a UNCHR representative for dinner one evening. All of these different organizations offered different perspectives on what action should be taken, and how it should be carried out.

                The Minister of Security himself was able to meet with our group and discuss the overlap of security and government in Rwanda. The Ministry of Security oversees the supervision of the Rwanda National Police, implementation of the law, and punishment for those who break the law. The Minister stated that “the law is our pillar.” Therefore, it is important to make sure that laws do not impede on human rights, and it is important to make sure that the system in which the law exists does not violate human rights as well.

                The main goals of the US Embassy were to promote relations between Rwanda and the US, and to monitor different human rights issues within Rwanda throughout the year. Many of the programs that the embassy assists with are small funding programs and enterprises, such as through a program called the Ambassador’s Self-Help Fund. One challenge that was pointed out to us on this visit is that there are so many different communities and issues where time and money can be directed, and it is very difficult to stretch a very limited amount of money very far.

                One of my favorite visits of the trip was when a small group of us had dinner with a UNHCR representative to discuss the current conditions of Kiziba Refugee Camp. She has worked in many different camps throughout Africa, and in the last couple years she has been working with the three refugee camps that are in Rwanda. She said that the most challenging aspect of her work is being in these different locations, on the ground and trying to do good, but being separated from her family. Coming to Rwanda was a dream-come-true for me, because it gave me the opportunity to be “on the ground;” it was the opportunity to see myself in a place far away from home and everyone I knew, and it gave me the opportunity to see if I could do this every day. I think I could—the only challenge for me is being away from my friends and family. It was comforting to hear this driven, passionate woman say it, too, and to know that it didn’t stop her from having her own life while following her dream of helping others.

                Sometimes knowledge doesn’t always lead to positive change or action. But it’s helpful to know that discipline, monetary means, and passion can go a long way in creating a positive and sustainable difference.

July 3rd and 4th: From Somber to Celebratory

Sunday, July 3^rd, marked the opening of our final full week in the program, and therefore, our final week in Rwanda. Having a few days off that Friday and Saturday had allowed us a chance to unwind and rest up, which helped prepare us for a pretty rough day that Sunday.

We went to Nyamata Memorial Center in Nyamata, a town that is around 20 miles outside of Kigali. It took us about 30 minutes to drive there. However, Jesse said that even as recently as the early 2000s, the roads to Nyamata were in poor enough condition that it would take two hours to reach the town from Kigali. As we rode the bus from Rwanda’s hilly, sloping capital city to the flatter, more rural marshland surrounding Nyamata, Jesse explained that even this change in scenery and geography is part of Nyamata’s history. Decades before the genocide in 1994, large numbers of Tutsis in Rwanda—but especially from the northern region of the country—were forced to live in this swampy, malaria-infested region; several hours but mere miles away from other people, communities, resources, etc. As I sat in this crowded, sweaty bus next to my friends, with my anti-malarial pills bouncing in my purse, it occurred to me how truly oppressive isolation from a community — and isolation from health — could be to a person. Once again, I can’t truly understand how such isolation would feel, and my easy access to both family and friends and healthcare have always been things that I have taken for granted. If the previous government that carried out the genocide really, truly believe the Tutsi were cockroaches, were less-human than themselves, then I think forcefully sending Tutsis into isolation such as this would be the first step in making outsiders, and the residents of Nyamata themselves feel as though they are somehow less-human as well.

Isolation can be a very powerful tool for oppression. Being able to drive to Nyamata from Kigali in 30 minutes made me feel as though real, tangible change has occurred in Rwanda since 1994.

The memorial’s appearance was unassuming and neat; it is a bright red brick building with green grass and colorful gardens on the surrounding land. Purple and white banners — colors associated with the ’94 genocide — hung around the building, but even these banners seemed to only add to the decorative aesthetic of the memorial, rather than evoke a somber mood.

However, the mood of our group quickly changed to somber upon entering the memorial. We were greeted by a guide who was tall, dressed professionally, and spoke in a quiet voice. I later read in my guidebook that she was one of two or three guides who worked there, who had all lost family at Nyamata church during the genocide. It made me wonder: how must she feel to work here? Can you imagine spending so much time at the site where some of your closest family and friends were murdered? Can you imagine reliving that time, that loss, that pain, every day of your life in such a physical way? I can’t.

Before we entered the church, our guide told us that 10,008 people crowded into the tiny space in April 1994 and were killed there by genocidaires. They came to this church because they believed they would be safe there. Now that the site has been converted into a memorial, over 40,000 victims are buried there, many of whom were killed in the marshy areas where they hid to protect themselves during the genocide. I only have one picture of Nyamata Memorial, because we were asked to only take pictures of the front entrance, out of respect for those who are buried there. I will just have to tell you about the rest of the visit.

Our view of Nyamata Memorial Site upon arriving.

We walked into the church, and it was impossible to envision 10,000 terrified people crammed into this space that maybe held several hundred comfortably. Sunlight shone into the worship space from holes in the walls and roof—caused by the blasts of bullets and grenades that were fired and launched upon the church. The simple wooden pews that stretched across the building were entirely covered by mounds of dusty, shredded clothing. This was the clothing of those who died there. It was impossible to discern one article of clothing from another, yet its presence almost gave life to the space, yet at the time it was a very tangible reminder of the enormous amount of human life that had been taken. The guide stopped us at the altar, where light pink blood stains marked the cloth that covered it. She then directed our gaze toward the ceiling, where black stains showed the time that had passed between our presence there and the genocide. Not just stains though, not just signs of age, she said; it was bloodstains, spattered across the ceiling with such regularity that I felt physically sick once these dark discolorations were identified for me.

The guide’s descriptions of what happened at this church made me realize something about the nature of the genocide, and about the trauma and pain that is a permanent effect of such atrocities. We use neutral words to describe what happened: killed, died, lost, victims. But the words our guide used didn’t leave open a peaceful interpretation of the events that happened; she used words like murdered, raped, mutilated, hacked, smashed, chased, tortured, and it made me realize that loved ones weren’t simply lost; they died horrible, slow, humiliating deaths—deaths that their survivors know were not peaceful, neutral, or inoffensive. How is it possible to move on when you understand the sort of violence and terror the genocide inflicted on your family?

Our guide invited us to go into the catacombs that are at Nyamata Memorial site. She told us that the holes and gashes in the skulls we would see were inflicted by machetes. We saw skulls, hip bones, thigh bones, various bones of victims killed in the church. These bones, once part of living, feeling human beings, seem so intimate — as though you shouldn’t be looking at them. And really, I know I shouldn’t be looking at them, because they should still be attached and part of living, feeling human beings.

On our way outside of the church, the guide pointed out the wall at the very back of the church, where babies were smashed against and killed. I will say that the visit was overwhelming and difficult, but these words are simplifiers; simplifiers that I use now that I am back in the States and because it is difficult to describe or even really understand how you feel when you see a wall used specifically to kill babies.

***

The next day, Monday, July 4^th, was spent celebrating in both the United States and Rwanda. While I imagined my family barbequing and watching fireworks back home, my delegation went to the National Stadium to celebrate Liberation Day! It marks the anniversary of July 4^th, 1994, when now-president Paul Kagame brought troops of the Rwandan Patriotic Front (RPF) into Rwanda and effectively stopped the genocide. Though I couldn’t understand a lot of what was said (speeches were in Kinyarwanda), we were able to see traditional dance, the police and military march, and even President Paul Kagame himself! It was a great chance to see patriotism that wasn’t just American; people are really proud to call themselves Rwandese. And why shouldn’t they be?

Traditional dancers strutting their stuff on Liberation Day!

The marching band plays, while some of Rwanda's military marches.

The much-adored President Paul Kagame himself!

The Home Stretch

Standby for my final posts from the trip!

Jessica and I eating tree tomatoes! (For future reference: bite off the top, suck out all the juices.)



Days Off: July 1st and 2nd

This weekend we had a few days off—which was fun! We have been here long enough now that we all had ideas of what we wanted to do. Kigali no longer intimidated us. Motos no longer intimidated us — most of the time. Despite that fact that these were days with no prior obligations, we still managed to fill them up with things to do.

On Friday, myself, Jessica, Stina, Rachel, and our program assistant coordinator, Gina, checked out the Marche de Kimironko, which is in the eastern part of Kigali, and a bigger market than our little East African market that is found at the city center, close to St. Paul’s. We were bartering like pros! After that successful shopping trip, we took motos to O Sole Luna — an Italian restaurant. There, we splurged on pizzas, calzones, salads, and ice cream! Oh, it was a great meal. We then took motos back to St. Paul’s, where we rested up before going out for the evening.

At this point in my trip, I think it’s safe to say that I’ve gained valuable experience as a moto rider — I have taken them quite a bit in the last week.

Wearing a helmet--safety first!

That evening all the International delegates, and a few of the Rwandan delegates, headed over to Ishyo for a dance and theatre performance. For those of you who don’t know, GYC pairs up with grassroots human rights organizations in Rwanda for every delegation. For this delegation we have paired up with seven organizations, and Ishyo is the organization that I chose to work with. Its motto is “culture for everyone;” it focuses on cultural promotion in Rwanda through the arts, especially through theatre, dance, and music. I’ve already worked at Ishyo a couple days during my stay here, and my last day is today. (But I’ll tell you more about my work with them later.) The dance performance focused on the representation of mental health, specifically relating to African’s struggles with mental health. The theatre performance that followed was called Sky Like Sky, which discussed the relationship between woman and nation. The dance performance was very powerful; it consisted of three Rwandese men performing both traditional and contemporary dance. They wore loose-fitting pants, and various parts of their bodies were wrapped in bright orange cloth, which gave the feeling of restriction or imprisonment. At one point, a slideshow of pictures lit up an otherwise dark performance space. One of the dancers walked between the rows of the audience with a lantern. He spoke of how Africa is viewed by parts of the world as “The Dark Continent;” he spoke in both English and French. At one point he raised his voice as he shouted “Why, why, why? Por quoi, por quoi, por quoi?”

Sky Like Sky provided a mix of light and heavy subject matter. It was performed by both Rwandese and American women. It referenced both contemporary and traditional culture; both American and Rwandese culture. One of the questions it seemed to ask was how women come into a sense of their nationality, and how this helps to form their identity. A scene that was depicted multiple times — that stood out to me in particular — was a woman coming through US Customs as an agent shouts questions to her: Are you a terrorist? Do you have a boyfriend? What is his name? Is he a terrorist? Do you have AIDS? Do you have religion? Do you…Do you…Do you…

After these two performances, I didn’t stay out long because a few of us woke up at 3 am (!!!) in order to go on a safari on Saturday. I went with Rachel, Angie, and Cece, as well as with Rachel’s homestay brother, Phillipe, and Phillipe’s friend, who drove us in his hardcore jeep. We went to Akagera National Park, which is along the eastern border of Rwanda. This area is much flatter than the rest of the country, but even so we found ourselves scaling a few massive hill-mountains.

A sign at Akagera National Park. Good to know...

So we woke up at 3, left at 4:30 am (in Rwanda, leaving at 4 actually means leaving a half hour later), and slept for most of the 2 hour ride. We had a breakfast of biscuits and water, and arrived in Akagera around 7 — apparently an almost-perfect time to see animals! At the entrance to the park we picked up our guide, Samuel. We saw giraffes, zebras, a warthog, the top of a hippo’s head, a baboon, monkeys, antelope, water buffalo, and all sorts of birds. We drove around for a little over four hours, and at the end of the safari Angie and I whipped up some PB & Js for everyone from the back seat of the car. It was a great day. I’m glad I decided to wake up and go!

The safari group: our guide, Samuel, Angie, Rachel, Cece, myself, and our driver!

Our beautiful view of Akagera from early morning.

Angie and I fighting off--or hiding from--the massive safari flies. We weren't so successful!

June 27th: Kiziba Refugee Camp

On Monday last week, we went to Kiziba Refugee Camp, which is about an hour outside of Karongi. It was one of three site visits people in our program could choose between. The other two options were going to a nearby village (The indigenous population that lives there was previously referred to as the Twa, and are still referred to as the Potter’s Community, although many in the community desire to simply be called Rwandans.), or to the police station in Karongi, to examine conditions for prisoners detained there.

I chose to visit the refugee camp because I was curious to see what living conditions were like for such a substantial population that apparently lives in very impermanent conditions. Because I’m studying global health at school, I was also interested to see what health conditions were like at Kiziba.

Kizaba Refugee Camp has existed since 1996, and many residents have lived there for the entire 15 years of the camp’s existence. Almost 19,000 people live on the camp’s 27 acres, and the people who live here have been displaced from the Democratic Republic of Congo. At least 60% of the population is youth (ages 14-35), though some estimates we heard are higher. 4,000 children are primary-age students. Kiziba has one general practitioner, one surgeon, and one hospital to service the entire population. Many surgeries can’t be done at the camp however, so patients have to go outside the camp to receive adequate medical care in many instances. Families receive rations of food every month. 205 young women are supported by ADRA/the Buffet Foundation to go outside the camp in order to pursue higher education.

The view of and from Kiziba Refugee Camp.

                The road to get to Kiziba wasn’t paved, and it wasn’t in very good condition; in general, the camp seems pretty isolated from other communities in the area. Our mini-bus was stopped at the entrance to the camp, and security seemed pretty tight. We later found out that security is self-implemented by the camp—not by the Rwandan government. This seems problematic to me, with such a large population in such tight quarters.

                Once we got through security and into the camp, we waited while Jesse set-up a meeting with some of the local leaders. We met with a representative of the Rwandan Ministry who is involved with Kiziba, the president of the camp, and the youth program facilitator. During this meeting, we were given some of the basic facts about Kiziba, as well as the most common problems that the camp faces. One of the major issues surrounding Kiziba is its very existence. As a refugee camp, Kiziba is meant to be a transitional, safe place for people who have been forced to flee the DRC. However, Kiziba has existed for 15 years — lives have begun, ended, and been established there. Despite the purpose of what a refugee camp is supposed to be, people’s lives have taken on a disturbing permanence there — their lives are constantly, indefinitely in limbo. We also received conflicting opinions from both camp leaders and people who live in the camp; some said that the refugees’ ultimate goal was to be able to return to the DRC one day, while others said that they wanted to become fully integrated into Rwandan society. Both these options are currently impossible for the residents there.

                After this meeting, we left to walk around the camp a little bit. First, we stopped by the hospital. There were a lot of people waiting outside, and many more who were waiting in an open, roofed structure. Conditions didn’t seem great; however people seemed like they were receiving medical care.  The two medical care providers are supported by the UN.

                We left the hospital and were on our way to the market, when the primary school either let out for the day, or went on break. Oh my! The stampede started with a handful of children running up to us. They stood around us and yelled, “Muzungo! Muzungo!” Many of them practiced their English on us, saying “Good morning!” and “How are you?” I’ve never been asked my name or where I’m from so many times in my life! As we stood there longer, the crowd of young students got bigger and bigger. It was literally a sea of blue uniforms. There were so many kids that we had trouble walking, and our group couldn’t stick together. It became an overwhelming situation very quickly! Luckily a few of the guys we came with helped pull us through the crowd.

Children everywhere!

                After the stampede fiasco, we went to the house of the youth program facilitator, where we met with some young men in the camp. During this visit, we were offered brochette and Fanta (the generic name for soda pop here). This gesture was very kind and humbling, considering the amount of need that is present at Kiziba.

He liked having his picture taken!

                The young man I met with was 21, and he had lived in the camp since its creation in 1996. He finished senior 3 (the third out of six years of high school) in 2009, but has no way to finish his education because the Rwandan government stops funding the education of refugee children after senior 3. Because refugees can’t own land outside the camp — or even leave Kiziba without permission — it is difficult for families to generate income to pay for education or basic needs. This man I met with said that he feels like his life has stopped; he can’t return to his old home, he can’t establish a new home in Rwanda, and he can’t continue his education. We were told that because people’s lives feel stunted, drug abuse is a problem in the camp. The organization ADRA (Adventist Development and Relief Agency) supports some young women from the camp to continue their education, but in a place where need is across the board (as opposed to being isolated to certain demographic groups), does this really help the residents of Kiziba camp? The young men we met with expressed their frustration and sorrow at being discriminated against, at having no hope or motivation to continue schooling simply because of their gender.

                This made me think about aid, or what we often consider to be “humanitarian work”—and what is one of the biggest critiques of organizations and people who try to help communities by offering aid. Often, the western world has a view of what help is needed in developing communities. We go into a community and drop money, drop scholarships, and drop projects — but do we provide communities with what they really need, or what we think they need? At Kiziba, young women have the opportunity to continue their education, but are they really any more disadvantaged than the young men in the camp? I can’t answer that question because I was at Kiziba for a day. But I hope ADRA did enough research on this community to be able to answer that question.

                Basic needs, such as food, are also a problem there. The young man I met with said that each person is allotted 11 kg of beans and maize each month, and that oftentimes this small amount of food is expired when it is distributed. Additional food is sold in the market, and is brought in by people who live outside of the camp. In order to supply other basic needs, such as clothes and hygiene products, these rations must be sold to others within the camp.

                After listening to this young man for a while, it was his turn to ask me a question. He asked if I had any advice to give him to help with his schooling. At first I was confused by the question, but then I realized that he was looking for me to give him a solution. I marched into this camp, walked around for a while, listened to him tell me how hard his life is, how hopeless it seems. And now, what? He wanted me to change something for him, to give him some piece of advice or help in exchange for his story — and I couldn’t do that. What can I say or do that will make a difference for him? Instead, I talk with him for a while — let him pour out his story to me — and then I go back to Centre Bethanie, where I feel safe and have a meal waiting. Two weeks later I will be home in America, where my needs have always been met in excess. And his story saddens me, but my life will move forward and he will still be…waiting.

***

This article has been on my mind a lot since I've been here. How do you write about anywhere, in the context of a country, a history, a continent?

http://www.granta.com/Magazine/92/How-to-Write-about-Africa/Page-1


For those who don't know a lot about the conflict in DRC (like myself), here are some key events in the country's history:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/1072684.stm

He didn't want to tell me his name--but he did want to hold my hand!

A Light Post

Things I’ve learned during my trip so far, especially during my homestay this past weekend:

1.       Brochette= goat meat

It’s pretty good. Served on a stick like kabobs, it’s generally preferred here to beef because it’s considered to be more tender.

2.       Public Transportation: scariest way to get from point A to point B, or mediocre roller coaster?

So far we’ve taken large buses, van-buses, and cabs. Lanes are more of a suggestion; the shoulders of roads are more like rough guidelines. Earlier this week in Karongi, a group of us took a van-bus to visit Kiziba Refugee Camp. It took about an hour, and the roads wound around the green hills and mountains. Sounds pretty, right? And it was. Pictures can’t even do justice to the landscape. However, from the back row of the van-bus, my friend Jessica and I were clutching the seats in front of us, shielding the tops of our heads from impact with the ceiling, and laughing/shrieking every time we became airborne. I counted 17 people in this van! The large bus that we actually took to get to Karongi was apparently on a deadline. Our driver had to be back to Kigali later on Sunday evening to work, so the three-hour ride was spent gliding around turns, speeding over mountains, and neglecting the brakes — pedestrians walking along the sides of these roads had to jump out of the way! Oh boy.

A mini-bus--the view from the back row!

3.       Muzungo = White Person

One of the first words I learned in Kinyarwanda. I hear it EVERYWHERE.

4.       Muzungo! Wampaye icupa? = White person! Can you give me your water bottle?

I heard this phrase a lot at Kiziba Refugee Camp. I made the mistake at one point of taking out my water bottle to grab a drink. Children immediately gathered around me, the tops of their heads reaching my hip, and they started shouting, “Muzungo! Wampaye icupa?” Someone told me that they will sell the empty bottles for money. It was actually sort of a tough situation. If you give the children a water bottle, they will fight each other for it. Even following me, they were grabbing, swarming, and tripping over each other. However, holding onto my icupa, I sort of just felt like a greedy muzungo. I’ve seen children throw tantrums, cry, and beg for toys, but I’ve never seen kids with that kind of need before. More on the refugee camp in the next post.

5.       Motos = Motorcycle taxis

 I took my first moto ride in Karongi! I went from town to the place we were staying, Centre Bethanie. The road my moto driver took followed the perimeter of Lake Kivu, and it was beautiful! And so much fun — I don’t know why I delayed this experience for so long. Having said that…

6.       3,000 FRW is about 6 times too much to pay for a moto ride.

7.       Allowing yourself to be charged 3,000 FRW for a moto ride = Muzungo mistake.

Whoops. When we arrived at Centre Bethanie, I handed my driver 3,000 francs. My friend and Rwandese participant, aka moto-cost-expert, Johnas, started yelling from the reception area: “How much are you charging? Why do you accept that money?” My driver shouted something in reply and drove away. Johnas’s effort in trying to save me money was valiant. He later told me that the driver’s reply to him was, “She wants to give me this money, she loves me!” I think I would have rather kept my money! But all in all, not too expensive of a mistake — 3,000 FRW is the equivalent of about $5 USD.

A waterfall on the drive back from Karongi.

Kigali Memorial Centre

On Thursday we had two site visits. First, we went to visit with and tour parliament! After that, we went to Kigali Memorial Centre, which is the largest memorial to the 1994 genocide. The Centre is divided into two sections: an outdoor area that consists of memorial gardens and a mass grave site, and indoor exhibits that document the chronology and pain of the 1994 genocide. Inside the memorial there is also an exhibit dedicated to children killed during the genocide, and an exhibit that looks at other genocides that have taken place in the world — including the Holocaust and the genocides in Armenia, Namibia, Cambodia, and the Balkans.

When we first entered the Memorial Centre, there was a flame burning in the middle of a clear blue pool. Our group was informed that this flame is only lit from April-July every year — which marks the time period when the genocide took place in 1994.

Pool and Flame at the front of the memorial.

First, I walked around the different gardens outside. There was a fruit tree garden in memory of children of the genocide, a flower garden for women of the genocide who were brutally raped and murdered, and a series of three gardens that represented Rwanda’s history before, during, and after the genocide — which were connected by a stream of water.

Next to the gardens are the mass graves. Not all the names of those who are buried at this site are known. Over 250,000 people are buried there — I think that is roughly the size of the city I’m from. The mass graves are in a long row, surrounded by greenery and flowers, with a path that you can walk down. All that can be seen of the graves are large cement slabs that rise out of the ground one or two feet. A few flower arrangements were scattered across the tops of these sites. As I walked around these graves, I realized I couldn’t even comprehend what they held. I couldn’t comprehend the pain or the reality of the 1994 genocide, though I knew that for the Rwandese participants who had accompanied us to the site, 1994 is not a matter of comprehending or not—it was and is a part of their culture’s history, their family’s history, and its effects will always be felt in their lives. All I could understand was that I will never be able to understand their pain, or the pain felt by all of Rwanda.

Path along the mass graves, which are on the left.

This was further realized when, once inside the Memorial, I walked into a room where pictures lined and covered the walls. They were victims of the genocide, their pictures hung by family members who had visited the memorial. As I walked around the room, I looked at of the faces — some looking directly at the camera, smiling, while others’ eyes wandered to things or people not seen. Some faces were in suits, some were in jerseys or dresses; some were babies. I was overwhelmed both by the hundreds of faces that rested on the walls, and once again by the fact that I couldn’t really grasp the reality of them. I felt both relief and frustration to know that this pain would never be mine, and that I would never understand this memorial as others did. I felt only extreme relief to know that I would never recognize one of these faces on the wall. As I stood there thinking this, one of the girls in our group — who always wears the cutest sandals and flashiest earrings, who is always willing to share a mischievous smile with you — stood next to me looking at the wall. She snatched a picture down from the wall, held it in front of me, and said “This is my mom.” I didn’t know what to say to her. She then carefully put it back on the wall, pointed to the picture next to it, and said “This is my brother.”

***

                Once we had left the Memorial and were back at St. Paul’s, we spoke a little about what we had just experienced, though no one felt like talking that much. Someone said that Rwanda is still paying back its previous government’s debt to the French government for weapons purchased in order to carry out the genocide. This is wrong, very wrong.

                The international community failed to prevent this from occurring, failed to stop it, yet they are there to collect the money that is owed to them.

                It’s difficult to make sense of all of this.

End on a cheerful note--myself, Jessica, and Stina at Parliament!

Semir, Sam and I in Parliament!

June 21st

A few notes thus far…

Thanks so much Dan, Jeremy, Mom, Caitlin, Annie, Aunt Kate, and Megan for the comments and support! In order to keep this post a little less long-winded, I’m just going to share a few points that have come up in the past couple of days.

1.       The Importance of Language. My oh my oh my, I never fully realized how wrong America has got it. It seems as though everyone in Kigali is at least tri-lingual; most people I’ve asked speak around five languages. The top three are without a doubt Kinyarwanda, French, and English. It is such a humbling position to be in — stumbling around looking down a couple lines for the English translation of everything. Actually, I’m lucky. A lot of the downtown area of Kigali that surrounds St. Paul’s is written in primarily English. But what would we, Americans, do if the rest of the world clung as stubbornly to solely one language as we do to English? Speaking multiple languages allows us not only to share dialogue, but to share cultures. What does it say about the US that we only seem to truly celebrate and respect one language?

Unfortunately I don’t think I can answer that question yet — maybe later in the delegation.

All I can say is that a new appreciation and excitement has sprung up in me; I can’t wait to start Elementary French this fall!

2.       Human Rights: 1, 2, 3, 4? As I think I stated before, Monday was the first day that the International and the Rwandese participants met. We discussed the basics first by asking some questions about human rights, like “How would you define human rights?” and “What rights are included under the heading of human rights?” One of the last questions really got me thinking though, so hear me out. The final question asked, “Are human rights organized into a hierarchy? Or, can human rights be ranked in order of importance?” At first I thought I knew the answer to this question. Though I find rights such as the right to healthcare, right to education, right to self-expression to be invaluable, I’ve always thought that these rights were sort of irrelevant if the basic rights — such as right to food, right to shelter, right to clean water — aren’t taken care of. What is the point of being able to go to school if you are one of the one billion people in the world who don’t have access to clean water, therefore severely harming your chances of making it to age 5? I’m not saying that we shouldn’t try and provide the whole world with education starting now, but I am saying that we should look at each community’s needs based on a case-by-case basis. A few others in my group for this discussion shared the same view as me. However, someone brought up that without certain rights  (i.e. the right to self-expression, the right to vote, the right to assemble, etc.) how can the change necessary to bring about universal and comprehensive human rights ever take place? Therefore, I started to see our list of rights, not as linear, but as cyclical. This still causes the question to remain: when it comes to human rights, where do we start? I’d love to hear opinions on this.

3.       The Arts and Human Rights! On Tuesday we had our first meetings with the grassroots organizations in Kigali that we will be volunteering with in small groups.  I am working with ISHYO, which is an organization in Kigali that works on cultural promotion through the arts. Needless to say, I’m so excited to be working with this group. They aren’t explicitly a human rights group, but use the arts (such as theater, dance, and music) to educate and deliver messages of social justice. I will start work with them next week. This is basically what my Interdepartmental major is all about, so being able to actually combine human rights/social justice AND the arts in a fieldwork setting will provide me with some great ideas for where to go and what to do with myself and my ideas when I come back from Rwanda!

4.       Just a few more thoughts… Someone I met with the other day presented the idea that human rights can be used as a form of oppression. At first I was very surprised to hear this statement, and felt a little defensive. I’m not sure I have the battery life or the knowledge to break down this idea all the way, but she basically said that Western countries sometimes pressure developing countries into adopting social, economic, civil, or cultural policies that don’t really fit with the culture or the people of the country. While I believe that human rights are universal concept, I found her statement to be very refreshing — and ironic. Sometimes, I think we overlook the rights of a culture or community in order to ensure the rights of the individual — something that is culturally specific in the Western world, but not everywhere!  I think the Western world will also put on a face of being concerned for human rights, when really this mask of concern is simply used to exert power or force over another country.

Additionally, on Wednesday we had a discussion about memorials in preparation for our visit to Kigali Memorial Center on Thursday. In our small group discussion for the day, one of the Rwandese participants asked me if the United States had any memorials dedicated to the lives lost during the time when American supported the slave trade. This question really got me thinking. I am by no means an expert on US memorials, but the only places that immediately come to mind when I think of memorials in my home country are those dedicated to WWI, WWII, and Vietnam soldiers—and of course, those structures that are dedicated to our founding fathers. Why is it that America doesn’t have memorials dedicated to lives lost (at least memorials that receive national attention or recognition) that weren’t soldiers or presidents? If memorials are meant to honor the memory of a person or people, then why hasn’t the US recognized the lives lost due to slavery, the genocide of the American Indians, or any other acts of violence at the hands of the US?  This makes me wonder why, as Americans, we always choose to remember ourselves as the victims, when we know that just as often we create victims. If we can’t honor the stolen lives of American Indians — if we choose not to remember that these events occurred — it makes me wonder how we choose to define what and who an “American” is?

These really were just supposed to be a few notes, and turned out to be much longer! Any insight or comments are always appreciated. Next post will be about our group’s visit to the Kigali Memorial Center.

If you don’t hear from me for a while it is because I’m at a homestay at the end of this week, and then on Sunday we go to Kibuye, in western Rwanda. Internet access is not guaranteed. Until then stay safe, and thanks for the support!

Cheers,

Marisa

A few of us at dinner last night--Janet, Hillary, Ruxi, and me!



Do you have eyes?

Yesterday was the first official day of our delegation! On Saturday we waited for the final people in our group to arrive, fought off jetlag, and walked around Kigali for a couple hours. We ate breakfast at Bourbon —which is a popular local café. As you may be able to imagine I was thrilled to have my coffee addiction satiated so quickly. I got an iced americano, and it was delicious! It was also very strong. I look forward to going there again.

Our walking tour was very eye-opening. Kigali just seems like such a warm, vibrant place. It was great to venture through the streets with “Primus” beer and “Tigo” cell phone company ads plastered everywhere. Traffic is a little crazy and taxi “motos” are constantly flying past or trying to get you to go for a ride. Some things are a little tough, though. Children will occasionally come up and walk with you, grab your hand, or talk to you, trying to get you to give them money. Not that there aren’t homeless people in the US, or Iowa City, or Cedar Rapids, of course — but they are never quite presented to you in this disarming way. We have been advised not to give these children anything, but it is difficult to know what to say at the same time. It is a little heartbreaking.

Something else I noticed on our walking tour, which is also a little disarming, is that my awareness of myself has been greatly heightened in Kigali. Since this is my first international trip, I have never been so conscious of my outsider-status based purely on the way I look. My role as a foreigner is so obvious, it made me uncomfortable at times, especially when our group of 15 or so drew attention so easily…

…Which brings me to the topic of: identity. We talked about it yesterday — mainly we discussed how identity relates to privilege, whether identity is internally or externally cultivated, and how it is a fairly fluid concept. This discussion made me glad I brought Adrienne Rich to read! We also discussed how our own sense or concept of identities might affect this experience for us. It was very interesting to hear everyone’s different perspectives, and I felt my understanding of what identity is being challenged.

Yesterday we also went to the Genocide Memorial of Belgian Soldiers at Camp Kigali. This memorial honors the memory of ten Belgian Blue Berets who were tortured and killed on the first day of the genocide, April 7^th 1994. Their job was to protect the Rwandan Prime Minister at the time, Agatha Uwilingimana. Although the facts of this story are fairly easy to digest, seeing the actual memorial and place where these men were killed was not. In the outside garden area of the memorial, ten stone pillars stood to represent each of the soldiers. Notches were cut out of the pillars, and each notch represented a year of each mans’ life. For some reason, this very physical, tangible representation of life unrealized made these ten soldiers’ stories more real to me. Bullet holes loudly announced themselves as scars on the exterior of the building that houses the rest of the memorial. These large marks reminded us that the memorial itself holds these men’s history as well.

On a blackboard in the building, the victims’ families had written messages to their lost loved ones. One message, directed at Romeo Dallaire, read in French: Do you have eyes? When someone in the delegation who was impressively fluid in French translated this for us, it caused me to pause. Isn’t this question what human rights is all about? Can you see what is happening around you? Can you identify injustices and violence against fellow human beings, and better yet, can you do anything to change this? Do you have eyes is a question that was relevant to the entire international community in 1994 as we stood by and allowed this mass atrocity to happen; we allowed it to continue. Because really, if — as individuals, societies, nations and communities — we possess the power to see, then why are human rights even an issue?

 Check out #1...

On a lighter note, after this visit to Camp Kigali we stopped by EjoHeza in Gikondo. EjoHeza is a cooperative of women, many affected by HIV and/or the 1994 genocide, who sew bags and other goods in order to make a living. Shopping for social justice?! Need I say MORE! Needless to say, the mostly-women-inhabited delegation went a little crazy buying bags for friends and family back home.

That is all I will say for now. Today we met the Rwandan members of the delegation!

Muramukelo!

Marisa